Maybe I’m just strange, maybe it’s because it’s pretty much my job, but I find a simple pleasure in organising. In filing. In taking piles upon piles of complete and utter chaos and sorting them all neatly into coherence. Even – who am I kidding? Especially – when that includes binning them. I’ve had to do a lot of this lately, inputting data from Invoice A into Cost Monitor B and checking that my books still appear to balance. Or at worst, only wobble a little bit. And I’ve been wondering as I go through the whole process of ‘month end’ for the projects I’m working on: why is it so hard to do this in my personal life? I organise and file and tidy and update and monitor and co-ordinate all day – it’s what I’m paid for. Is it overload that stops me from spending the few minutes it would take to update and organise my own life?
When I get home, the last thing I want to do is more of what feels and looks like work – I’m fairly normal that way. The trouble is, my reluctance only makes the task loom larger and more impossible in my mind. After all, if it only takes me 30 minutes to transfer all the complex multi-layered information from a 6-page invoice into the relevant cost codes and categories of the equally complex and multi-layered cost monitor, then my own personal finances are more likely to take up 5 minutes. To reconcile the whole month. All of which makes me somewhat ashamed that I haven’t done all this already.
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